that would give them away as Elsa Gaarnhold, the Mistress of Novices, came barelling out of her private chamber wearing nothing but an angry scowl.  One Torian Novice staggered out of his room, a boy that looked no more than thirteen, and he gaped at the tall Ungardt in all her unclad glory until she raged at him to return to his room and if she saw his face again before sunrise he'd be sorry he was ever born.  They did manage to get out of Elsa's hearing before erupting into gales of helpless laughter.
	The exploring did manage one thing, if nothing else.  By midnight, Tarrin knew the passages of the Tower so well that he thought he'd been living there all his life.  They must have gone up and down every single one at least three times.  They had to have walked twenty longspans in the hours that they'd been wandering around, and his feet were starting to get a little tired.
	It was well after midnight before any of them started getting sleepy.  They had been sneaking around the cellars, trying to find a secret passage that everyone said a building as old as the Tower had to have, just to see if they could manage to do it, when Dar yawned widely.  "I think it's about time to turn in," he said.  "We can always try again tomorrow, and I'm starting to get sore feet."
	"Me too.  Let's call it a night.  You can show me where your rooms are, so I can find you easier from now on," Auli agreed.
	They took her back to the hallway on the fifth level, where their rooms were, and Dar pointed at the doors.  "That one's mine, and this one is Tarrin's," he announced.  "I'll see you two tomorrow.  Night," he yawned.
	"Night Dar," Tarrin said as Auli gave him a kiss on the cheek by way of farewell, and he shuffled to his door and went in.
	"Well," Auli said, leaning against the wall opposite him and looking at him.  "I'm really not that tired.  I just wanted to make sure Dar didn't think he was holding us up.  "Want to play some chess?"
	Tarrin remembered what happened the last time, when she offered to teach him to play...and part of him wanted to see if it would happen again.  But the rest of him discounted that.  Auli was his friend, he doubted he flirting had been anything more than what it was with Dar.  Just a way she played with them.  "I hate to say it, but I'm a little tired myself.  I don't think we have time for chess, but you can come in and sit for a little if you want," he told her.
	"Sure," she said with a smile.  "I want to see if your room is better than mine."
	She followed him into the room and looked around as he went across and opened the drapes that hid the door leading out onto the balcony.  "Good Goddess, did I get raped over the rooms," Auli complained.  "My room is like a closet.  This one is bigger than mine, and it has better furniture."  She plopped down to sit on the bed, and bounced up and down on it a few times.  "This is a nice bed," she noted.  "Not as soft as mine, but on the other hand, I don't like sinking into my bed like it was quicksand."  She looked over at him and patted the bed beside her.  "Come sit down," she invited.
	"Are you going to blow in my ear?" he asked bluntly.
	She looked at him, then laughed.  "Only if you want me to," she said with a sly smile.
	"Well, I don't," he said to her, and he sat down on the bed by her.  "What are you going to do tomorrow?"
	"I'm not sure yet," she replied.  "Probably more talking."
	"What are the Sha'Kar going to do after the talking is over?"
	"Teach," she replied.  "The humans here are woefully undertrained, and none of them can speak Sha'Kar.  We're going to teach them up to our level.  I think that's going to take a few decades," she grunted sourly.
	"If anything, we have time," Tarrin said.
	"It's going to be boring," she complained, flopping down onto her back.  "Day after day after day of nothing but teach, teach, teach."
	"Before, it was nothing but day after day of party, party, party," he pointed out.
	"But parties are fun," she said with a sour look at him.
	"Then make teaching fun," he said simply.
	"If only it was as easy as saying it," she huffed, looking up at him.  "Besides, before I was doing what I wanted to do.  Now I have to do things I don't want to do."
	"Welcome to the world of growing up," he teased with a chuckle.
	"I'd rather be back on the island," she admitted.  "I liked it there."
	"It was a gilded cage, Auli."
	"Maybe, but what a gild," she grinned.  She propped herself up on her hands and looked at him in a slightly different way.  "I have a question."
	"What?"
	"Do you remember anything at all from when you were a Were-cat?"
	"Not really," he replied.  "Sometimes I get these flashes, but they're more like images, pictures, or feelings.  Nothing really solid."
	"So you don't remember your girlfriends or your daughter at all?"
	He shook his head with a sigh.  "I feel sorry for them," he told her.  "I know it kills them to see me like this, and it must hurt that I don't remember them.  I know it would hurt me if my sister suddenly couldn't remember me."
	"I can understand that," Auli nodded, sitting all the way up and turning a little towards him.  "I have another question."
	"What?"
	"What would you say if I did this?"
	And then she leaned forward, put an arm around his shoulders, and kissed him.
	It was not a chaste, friendly kiss.  There was a passion in it that curled Tarrin's toes in their boots, and he suddenly couldn't remember how to make his arms work.  Auli pressed herself against his side more and more as she kept kissing him, pushing at him until she was literally in his lap with her hands on either side of his face to keep him still, continuing to kiss with with that same unbridled passion.  Tarrin had never kissed a girl like that, or been kissed like that, at least not that he could remember, and she effectively paralyzed him with her sensual lips.  The only way he could seem to move was to put his hands on Auli's shoulders, but he couldn't find the strength to push her away.  He didn't want to push her away.  He began to kiss her back as the passion in her kiss started working its magic on him, and all his careful plans to not get involved with Auli went up in smoke as soon as the passion of her kiss told him that she had no intention of stopping.
	Depending on how one looked at it, what happened next was either good luck or bad luck.  Tarrin had no idea the door had been opened, but Jesmind's rather angry shout startled Tarrin so badly that he nearly fell off the bed.  Auli whipped her head towards the door so fast her hair smacked Tarrin in the back of the head, and was about to stand up.  She did manage to shout in a rather unpleasant voice.  "This is a private room!" she said angrily.  "Excuse yourself!"
	"Just as soon as you take your hooks out of my mate," she said in a vicious tone.
	"He can't be your mate," Auli said in a hot tone.  "I asked.  That means he's available."
	"Not for you, Sha'Kar," Jesmind hissed, extending the claws on both her hands meaningfully.  "You have a choice.  Walk out that door now, or they'll carry you out in six seperate buckets.  Decide."
	It hung there for a very long moment, and Tarrin used it to try to regather his wits.  He'd never kissed a girl before--at least not that he could remember--and he never knew that it could have so much power in it.  All he could think of was how nice it felt, and a part of him was furious with Jesmind for barging in and ruining the moment.  But that other part of his mind that told him that getting involved with Auli would probably be a bad idea managed to resurface, at least now that Auli hadn't clubbed it into silence with her powerful presence, and he felt a little abashed at having been so easily wooed.  He thought that he had a little more self control than that, but then again, he'd never met a girl quite like Auli.  Tarrin didn't think many men at all could say no to her, not if they were kissed like that.
	With all the grace of a queen, Auli stood up and smoothed her skirt.  "I'll see you later, Tarrin," she promised with an inviting smile.  "Count on it."
	Jesmind glared at the Sha'Kar woman as she swept past her, not even bothering to look at her, then glided out of the open door.  Jesmind slammed the door behind her, then stood before it giving him a withering look.  "And just what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.
	"Well, I certainly didn't plan that," Tarrin told her.
	"She did," Jesmind snapped.  "You should know better than to get mixed up with a girl like that, Tarrin.  She doesn't care about you.  She just wants to conquer you."
	"Isn't that what you did to me when we met?" he asked pointedly.
	Jesmind spluttered slightly, looking a little embarassed, then she cleared her throat.  "That was different," she said waspishly.
	Tarrin had been a little grateful that she'd interrupted them before it got too serious, but now he was having third thoughts.  What was Jesmind doing outside his door?  Was she following him around?  And what right did she have to barge in that way?  His life was his own, and he didn't appreciate Jesmind trying to interfere.
	He looked her right in the eyes.  "It seems awfully convenient that you just happened to be walking by at the right time," he said in a dangerous voice.  "Or was it more than coincidence?"
	"I was following you," she admitted without batting an eye.  "I'll give you space, Tarrin, but I'm not going to let you wander around alone.  This Tower isn't as secure as Jenna likes to think."
	Her admission surprised him, yet it didn't.  But it certainly made him angry.  "I don't need protecting, Jesmind!" he said hotly.  "When I moved down here, it was so I could have my own space, my own time.  You and Kimmie and Triana aren't going to get around that by standing outside my door and following me everywhere I go!"
	"Until you're back to normal, I'll follow you around if I damn well please," Jesmind snapped.  "You're too vulnerable like this!"
	"I am not a child!" Tarrin shouted at her, jumping to his feet.  "Why won't you Were-cats get that into your head?!  I don't need a nurse, I don't need a bodyguard, and I damn well certainly don't need you three hiding in my closet!"
	"You're in no condition to dictate terms," she said in a seething tone.  "Until we can change you back I'll--"
	"Whoever said I wanted to be changed back?" he shouted at the top of his lungs.  "This is my life!  Ever since I woke up, everyone's been telling me where to go, what to do, and you're all trying to plan my life for me, and I'm sick of it!  Do you hear, I'm sick of it!  It's my life!  If I want to change back, I will, but if I want to stay like I am, then that's what I'm going to do!"
	The sheer vehemence in his angry voice took Jesmind aback.  She stared at him in shock, putting the back of her large, furry hand to her chin and gaped at him with wide eyes.  "T-Tarrin!" she said in a startled tone.  "I--"
	"I don't care what you think!" he shouted, cutting her off.  "I like you, Jesmind, but I don't need you treating me like I'm another one of your children!  So if you don't mind, kindly butt out!" he said in a mighty crescendo, shaking his fist and stamping a foot to emphasize his ultimatum that much more.  When she didn't say anything, he shooed her with his hands.  "Go on!  Get out of my room!  And if you don't want me to avoid all you Were-cats completely, then stop following me around!  Do you hear me?  Stop it!  Just leave me alone!"
	Jesmind stared at him in shock, and, to his surprise, fear.  She was looking at his hands, and she took a step backwards when he raised both arms to look down, to look at where she was looking.  He nearly jumped back himself when he saw that both of his hands were glowing with a strange magical light!
	It made him feel something inside, a power, a force that had filled him.  He'd been too angry to notice it before, but now he could feel it.  It was a very warm energy, a very strong one, and it was like the light of the sun boiling around in his belly.  He had no idea how it got there or what he was supposed to do with it, but it simply drained away by itself as he was trying to fathom how it got there to begin with.
	He understood.  He'd gotten mad, and in his anger, some part of his mind that still remembered had reached out and touched the power of Sorcery.  Even if he couldn't remember how to use it with his conscious mind, some other part of his mind could, and had done so.
	"I--We'll talk tomorrow, Tarrin," Jesmind said in a hesitant voice as the magical light faded from his hands, and he stared at them in surprise.  "When you're calmer."
	He heard her leave, but he didn't look up at her.  All he could do was stare at his hands in wonder.
 
Chapter 3

	It was all just too confusing.
	The first issue, obviously, was Auli.  Tarrin hadn't been prepared for her to do what she did, and though half of him wanted her to keep going, the other half of him didn't.  Part of him was embarassed for being so easily seduced, but another part of him was angry that he hadn't gotten to see how far Auli was willing to go.  He believed Jesmind when she said that Auli probably had no feelings for him, was only out to conquer him, but another part of him saw absolutely nothing wrong with that.  If all she wanted was a good time, then that part of him was more than willing to accommodate her.  That in itself seemed wrong to him; he was raised to believe in marriage, and not fooling around until he was married.  But there was another part of him, probably something left behind from his time as a Were-cat, that thumbed its nose at that moral conditioning and saw Auli as a good time waiting to be had.
	His feelings for the Sha'Kar complicated the issue.  He liked Auli.  Alot.  She was funny, friendly, adventurous, and he thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her.  Even now, knowing that she had tried to seduce him--or at least he thought she did, he'd never know thanks to Jesmind--he found himself looking forward to the next time she and Dar and himself all went out and had fun.  He didn't want to avoid her, even if he didn't want her chasing him.  He really liked her as a friend, and he wasn't going to stop talking to her, no matter what Jesmind said.
	He honestly wasn't sure what to do about her.  He spent almost all night sitting or laying in bed thinking about it.  A good deal of that time was thinking about how nice it felt when she kissed him, he had to admit.  He still was of two minds about her pursuit of him.  Part of him wanted to pursue her, the other part didn't.  Part of him was loyal to Jesmind and Kimmie, the other part realized that he was a different person now, so there was no true reason for him to remain so.  Part of him realized that getting involved with Auli was probably going to cause more trouble than it would be worth, and the other part of him was willing to take the punishment if only to enjoy the crime.  Part of him thought it improper to think things like that until he was married, the other part called that moral part of him all sorts of names and told him to seize the moment.  Part of him saw Auli as a temptation, as a test of his moral character, the other part reminded him that so long as they were both willing, what harm could it do?  Auli couldn't get pregnant by him.  They were two different races.  So there could be absolutely no harm done if she truly was willing to take it to that ultimate level.
	And besides, Auli was beautiful.  What healthy, sane man could look at her and not want to be with her?
	That, he realized, was the half of the main part of the problem.  If she'd been a plain woman, an average woman, he probably would have said no.  But she was Sha'Kar, ethereal, almost breathtakingly beautiful, and that beauty was a more effective weapon against his morals than anything else could have been.  The other half of the problem was the fact that Auli was his friend.  He liked her, he enjoyed spending time with her, and he wasn't going to ignore her, even if he decided that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with her.  That would make spending time with her tricky, he knew, but he'd try.  She was too much his friend to distance himself from her just because she wanted to take their relationship to another level.  As long as she wasn't bitter about him rejecting her, he was more than willing to keep on being her friend.
	The other issue was with Jesmind and the Were-cats.  He was surprised that Jesmind had been following him around, but he guessed that he shouldn't have been.  What bothered him more than that was how they were treating him, like he was a toddler still in diapers and tied to his mother's apron, trying to run his life.  Triana had done it to him from the moment he'd woke up, and now Jesmind was trying to do it.  Kimmie, thankfully, didn't seem to be willing to do it, only obeying Triana's orders.  At least she partially understood how their controlling him made him feel.  Tarrin was a very independent young man, and having them lord over him like that was really aggravating him.
	And what was worse, he really hated how they simply decided that he was going to change back.  It was like they didn't care at all how he felt about it.  What right did they have to determine how he was going to control his own life?  Until he got his memory back and could make a conscious, rational choice, he honestly had no idea what he was going to do.  He really didn't think about it that often, because until he got his memory back, there was really no good reason to do so.  He expected the Were-cats to think that he would change back, but the way they'd decided that he was going to change back really infuriated him.  Even Kimmie seemed to be doing it, planning her future around the fact that he was going to change back.
	And what exacerbated that was the fact that they seemed to think that since he couldn't be changed back right now, that he should simply stop living.  That he should sit in a nice safe room and do nothing but wait for Phandebrass to finish, so he could get back his memory.  If they even bothered to wait that long.  Part of him angrily wondered why Triana was keeping the others from simply biting him and being done with it.  If they really did intend to make him change back, then why wait?  Why not do it now, before he got his memory back, before he had a chance to choose for himself?
	Not long after Jesmind left, he told himself to just ignore them until he got back his memory, but just as he wasn't willing to ignore Auli, he wasn't willing to ignore the Were-cats.  He did like Jesmind and Kimmie, but he just couldn't ignore his daughter.  He'd been totally ensnared by the wide-eyed child, and though some of the things she said surprised him at times, he just couldn't deny that he loved her.  She was his daughter, and no matter what, he was going to love her.  He wanted to spend time with her, and he was already looking forward to seeing her.  He felt as much a duty and responsibility to Jasana now as he knew he must have before he lost his memory.  No matter how mean he'd gotten or cruel he'd been, he just knew in his heart that he could never have distanced himself from his child.
	The only problem with that was how to be mad with Jesmind and Triana and not have it affect his time with Jasana.  The easiest way would be simply to take his daughter out and away from them, but he wasn't sure he could manage that.  As paranoid they were over him, it'd go up several notches if he took his daughter out from their protective presence.  He still wasn't sure about that one, but he'd figure something out before the time came.  He was sure of it.
	What to do, what to do.  He did manage to get a little sleep, but not a whole lot.  He was standing out on the balcony, which faced the ocean, and he could see it between two of the smaller towers that surrounded the big central one.  He watched the lanterns begin to wink out as the sun started to rise on the other side of the Tower, but none of the many ships in the harbor had begun to move quite yet.  There was alot he had to figure out to do.  Firstly, about Auli.  Did he really want to enter into a relationship with her?  Still, part of him did, but part of him didn't.  He really wanted to get Auli back in his room and kiss her again, but for now, at least for a few days until he got things hammered out with Jesmind, he decided it may be best to leave that alone.  If Jesmind or one of the other Were-cats walked in on him and Auli when they were doing more than kissing, things could get very, very ugly.  Tarrin had no doubt that Jesmind meant it when she threatened to tear Auli limb from limb.  Besides, the few days would give him time to work out what he wanted, give him time to decide if he wanted to pursue her or not.  Until he did know one way or the other, it was probably best to gently decline any of her other invitations.  Since he knew he'd feel a little guilty if he did let her seduce him before he made up his mind, he decided that a short time of frustration and disappointment was better than days and days of guilt.
	That layered into the other problem.  He was still very angry with Jesmind, and he didn't expect to forgive her for a while, mainly because he knew she'd never apologize for what she was doing.  Triana would be just as recalcitrant.  Kimmie would probably show some compassion for his position, but she would not go against Triana, so he didn't expect much in the way of help from her.  At least he could talk to Kimmie, and Jula, and pass any information he wanted on to Jesmind and Triana.  He had a feeling that he wouldn't be talking to them very much by the end of the day.  He was going to step on this now, before the Were-cats got it settled too firmly in their minds that he would do what they wanted, and that he would be easy to push around.  He had to establish his autonomy now, before things got out of hand.
	Of course, now he knew he had a weapon to use against them.  The problem was, he didn't know how it worked.  He'd used Sorcery somehow when Jesmind angered him, but he still had no idea how he did it.  And he wanted to know how he did it.  He hadn't noticed at the time, but using Sorcery had felt so familiar to him, like it was more than just a forgotten memory.  Almost like it was a part of himself that he had only just rediscovered, something that hadn't been taken from him when he'd lost his memory.
	That problem wasn't a very big one.  He was absolutely surrounded by Sorcerers, and any of them should be able to teach him how he'd done what he did so he could do it again.  Jenna would probably  be the best one to do it, if he could get her to devote enough time to his education.  She was also one of those sui'kun people, like him, and it would probably be best for her to teach him what he wanted to know.  He had the feeling that his magic worked a little differently than other Sorcerers--he'd only seen that glow when Ianelle and the Sha'Kar used powerful magic to Teleport them to Suld--so it would be best if another sui'kun was the one who taught him.
	It shouldn't be too hard.  She was his sister, after all, and if she didn't have time for him, then who did she have time for?
	Oh yes, he wanted to learn.  Jesmind had been afraid of him, and he wanted that option to be available in the future.  He wanted those high-and-mighty Were-cats to be afraid of him, he wanted them to understand that he would not be pushed around.  He wouldn't go and pick a fight with them, but he wasn't going to let them bully him into doing whatever they wanted him to do either.  He remembered the very poignant lesson that Kimmie had taught him.  Their physical power made the Were-cats supreme, at least when one played them by their own rules.  Sorcery would allow him to take them to a level they couldn't reach, and give him the advantage over them.  If he wanted to establish his independence from the Were-cats, he'd need an advantage.  And, he had to admit, there might come a time when he'd have to defend himself against them.  If he chose not to be changed back, he felt that there was a good chance that they may try to force the issue.  If it did come to that, he wanted some kind of way to protect himself from them.
	He wondered again what Auli was doing, and just how serious she had been.  Was she flirting with him?  Was she playing with him, or was she being serious?  If Jesmind hadn't come in, just how far would Auli have gone?  He chided himself when he daydreamed a bit about her going all the way, and the image of her standing on the edge of the bathing pool nude wouldn't get out of his mind.  Gods, she was so gorgeous.  Like a living piece of art, all perfect lines and curves, and she had a unique personality that attracted him just as much as her body did.  She was the first girl he'd ever met who was so adventurous and fun-loving, who did what she wanted and didn't worry about what her parents or the others might think.  She had such a rich sense of humor, and she was so fearless!  That probably attracted him more than anything else.  Auli was fearless, alot like he was, but in slightly different ways.  Despite those differences, he felt a communion with Auli that wouldn't let him get her out of his mind.  She was very much the kind of woman he'd always wanted to meet.  Strong and outspoken like his mother, drop-dead gorgeous, a woman that wasn't afraid of being feminine, a woman that wasn't afraid to be strong when it was needed.  She was so many things that he found appealing in a woman.  No wonder he was having so much trouble putting her out of his mind.  He wondered if Jesmind or Kimmie had similar qualities, if they were reasons why he'd fallen in love with them.
	Jesmind certainly seemed fearless.  And she was very strong.  Kimmie was very feminine, the most feminine-seeming of the four adult Were-cats he'd met so far.  After all, she wore a dress.  But he knew that she'd put aside that femininity in a heartbeat if it was necessary, and from what he knew of Kimmie, she was very smart and very, very brave.  In her own way, she was fearless.  Jesmind seemed rather calm to him most of the time, very much unlike the stories he'd heard of her.  Jesmind was supposed to be wild, hot-tempered, fiery in nature and very confrontational.  Kimmie was the opposite of that.  She was calm, mellow, and she avoided such confrontations whenever possible.  It wasn't that she couldn't win those confrontations, she simply preferred to avoid them.  She was the most peaceful of the three Were-cats he'd known long enough to compare.  Thinking about it, he could see qualities in Kimmie and Jesmind that would have attracted him to them  The fact that both of them were very attractive didn't hurt, either.
	Weird.  The last thing he ever expected to have happen to him when he left home was to have girls chasing him around.  He wasn't used to it...and in a way, it felt oddly appealing.  They were going to give him a big head, with them virtually fighting over him the way they were.
	But it was sunrise, and despite the fact that he hadn't had much sleep, it was time to get up.  He wanted to find his sister and she if she could teach him any magic.  He had the feeling that it was going to come in handy in a very short period of time.

	"Hold on hold on hold on!" came an excited call from down the hall as Tarrin trekked the distance towards Jenna's office.  It had certainly taken long enough to find someone who knew where it was, mainly because he didn't want to ask anyone who may willingly or unwillingly get that information back to Triana.  It wasn't that he was worried that she'd find out that he went to see his sister, but he certainly didn't want her to know that he was trying to learn how to use magic again.  At that moment, though he liked her, he had to think of Triana and the other Were-cats as potential enemies.  It was only wise, mainly because if they did resist if he chose not to be changed back, they would definitelybecome enemies.  It pained him to think so, but something deep inside him warned him over and over again not to underestimate anyone.  That had to be the feral nature that was gone now, some memory of it that echoed inside of him.  The last vestiges of paranoia.
	The speaker was Phandebrass, and the white-haired Wizard, who was a riot of contradictions, jogged up holding his old gray robes up so he wouldn't trip on them while he ran.  He was alone, his white hair flying behind him, that ridiculous pointy hat somehow managing to stay on top of his head when it would be best for everyone involved if he'd simply lose it.  "I say, hold on there, lad!" he called, running up to him.  "I've been looking everywhere for you, I have!"
	"What's the matter, Master Phandebrass?" Tarrin asked curiously, stopping in place and waiting for him to catch up.
	"I need to check some things before I can continue, I do," he answered, reaching him and pausing to pant a little after his exertion.
	"What things?"
	"I say, I need to get a better understanding of the kind of memory loss you're enduring, I do," he answered.  "And for the best results, I need a Sorcerer to help me, one good with Mind weaves.  Do you know of a good one, lad?"
	"I don't really know anyone, Phandebrass," Tarrin reminded him.
	"Oh dear, that's right.  I guess you wouldn't at that, would you?" he grunted.  "Ah well, let's go find someone who can point us in the right direction, lad.  We need to get this done, we do.  I can't move any further."
	"Alright," Tarrin said.  "I was going to see my sister.  She'd know who could help us."
	"Capital idea!" Phandebrass said happily.  "Lead on!"
	Tarrin led the white-haired Wizard along the passages, trying to remember the exact directions that would take him to his sister's office.  "How is it going with that, Master Phandebrass?" he asked curiously.
	"Call me Phandebrass, my boy," he replied.  "I don't need all those frilly titles, I don't.  As to the research, it's going very well," he reported.  "Thanks to the very extensive library here in the Tower, I've found no less than four possible approaches to restoring your memory, I have.  I say, that's why I need to do some checking on you, so I can decide which would be the most effective approach to utilize, I can."
	"Oh.  Any idea how much longer it's going to be?"
	"I say, not really, lad.  Depending on which technique I use, we could be trying to reverse the damage as soon as next ride or as late as next year.  It's all going to depen